did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
