Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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