I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
