we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
