My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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