its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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