In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
