the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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