We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
