I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize