She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
