You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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