how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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