Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
