Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Randomize
