This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
