My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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