I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
