Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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