Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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