Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
