it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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