Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
