We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
