I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
