Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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