Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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