so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
