if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Randomize
