How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
