jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the liver wants what the liver wants
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
