Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
