my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
