Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
