After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
