yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
