I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
