cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
