would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
