I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
