tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
