i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
