Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
