dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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