meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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