yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
