ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I understand Curling. That high.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
