please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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