i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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