I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
